people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
