tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
