He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She needs sedatives and a leash
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
