who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
