If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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