This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
