Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize