party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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