just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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