TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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