For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
