I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
