my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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