I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
