he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
