there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize