I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
