he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
