Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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