You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
