May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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