I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
