God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
