Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
