dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
