I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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