my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
