I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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