I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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