she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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