I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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