I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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