How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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