she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize