these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
