The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize