there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do vagina's smell?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
