Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
