a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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