One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
