HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
