I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
