i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
