Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize