I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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