Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am one with the molecules
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
