that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
