woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
