So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Bring me that man meat
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
