i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
