I wish I could punch you in the face.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
