About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
smell my finger.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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