Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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