the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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