Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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