Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
