Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
