I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
